Sunday, 29 April 2012

Short blog: Is it better to be honest about being child-free?

Now I'm in my late 30's, I haven't been subjected to Child-free/breeder bingo in quite some time, but I am always prepared for it.
Children were the topic of conversation last night at work, and I was asked, "Do you ever want children?"
Now I'm always polite about it, after all, it is just conversation
"No, I'm not bothered."
I let out a barely audible sigh, thinking, "Here we go."
"Because I don't.  I'm not maternal."
"What does your husband think?"
"Same as me."

Then came the big-one.  The personal question that most people want to ask, but are afraid to.  Although it has happened a few times.
"What would you do if you got pregnant?"
I find this question slightly offensive, I mean, would I dare say anything about abortions to a Mum about her children?
Anyway, I replied, "Well, if you're going to ask such a personal question, I'd probably have an abortion."
Her, "Oh...." Then she looked down and started doing her paperwork again, changed the subject and started talking to someone else.

I've never had it yet, but I wonder if I'm ever going to get, "Have you ever had an abortion?"


  1. I think it's better to be honest. But I also think it's not someone else's business if you don't want to tell them. I'm actually planning on eventually posting on that sometime because even before I decided I didn't want kids it drove me crazy when people pried about when we're going to have kids or if we're trying yet (the when and the yet got me the most because it assumes we couldn't decide not to have any ever, which we did). If someone asked what I'd do if I got pregnant I'd probably say "Let's put it this way...I wouldn't stay pregnant".

  2. Its best to be honest on the first two questions.

    If someone were to ask me,

    "What would you do if you got pregnant?"

    That's pushing it. I find it rude when people ask that. Either theyre being "innocently" curious, or looking to judge and criticise or starting an irrelevant argument.

    I would tell them-

    "It's none of you're business."
    "I know you're curious but tell me the REAL motivation behind this question?"
    "I know you're curious but why do you ask?"
    "I don't owe you an explanation, it's my life why don't you worry about you."

    As for the last question, I would tell them its none of their business if you don't want them to know.

    It's best to keep some things private. Ive been bingoed before a few times, It might be alot more coming on the way when I reach mid 20's to 30's. Im not much of an open book. Some people aren't so nice when it comes to opinions or personal life choices.