Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Meeting Another Child-free Person

Most people I work with know I'm child-free by choice as I am open about it if people ask.
There are a few people at work who don't have children, but most are single.  There are very very few people, like myself, in their late 30's, happily married and have no intention of having children and never have.

I was chatting to someone at work the other morning, when we were about to go home after a night shift.  In casual conversation, I asked, "Do you have children."  She said, "No, we never got around it it."  I asked her how old she was, she was the same age as me.  
I said to her, "We don't have children, either.  We don't want any." I am always honest.
I could almost see her eyes light up.
"Really?  Truth be told, we don't want any."
It was like the child-free flood-gates had opened.
She continued on about how she never wanted children, doesn't particularly like them and luckily has a partner who feels the same.  
As we walked to our cars, we chatted about how we loved our lives how they were.  How we loved our freedom, our lie-ins and our money.
We also discussed how society and people expect people, once they get married, to breed.  She explained how she avoids the "children" question, and that her family and people back home in her country (she's from the Philippines), are very child-centric.  I admired her for sticking to her beliefs and not breeding because other people expected her to.

This situation has happened a few times, when I've spoken to people who are around my age and don't have children.  At first people avoid the question until I am open and then they 'come-out'. Then it's a feeling of mutual joy and respect.

Honestly, what is the worst thing that could happen if we didn't breed?.....erm, nothing? 
We're not hurting anyone, we're not some right-wing intolerant religious nut-job. No wonder people don't often 'come-out' as child-free by choice judging by some people's reaction, so make excuses as to why they haven't had children.  Luckily, most people don't care if we have children or not, which is how I like it.  Many try to convert me to 'the other side' or question my motives, and I have also been accused of being 'militant' or a 'child-hater'  for daring to buck society's trend and having a mind of my own which doesn't revolve around breeding, and being open and honest about it.  How dare I have a mind of my own which isn't dictated to by my uterus?!  Some people who read this blog and others I have written would also accuse me of 'going-on' about it.  Well, I'll stop 'going-on' when you stop going on at me.

And NO, I don't worry I'll regret it.

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