Saturday, 17 September 2011

Having a Baby to "Save Your Marriage".....oppps

Seems to be a popular thing amongst idiots: Having a baby to "save your marriage".

It certainly seems to be popular amongst the celebs of this world, namely the stupid ones. The ones who haven't been in the press for five minutes and who are generally famous for doing nothing else but being famous. Beyonce announced that she's having a baby "to save her marriage" and Cheryl Cole considered it. Both Jordon and Kerry Katona did it - so obviously if they both did it, it must work!...........oh yeah.
And why is it mostly the women who decide or agree to this when they are usually the ones married to the winner of "Mr Dumb Fuckwitt of the Year", "Mr Can't Keep His Cock in his Trousers" and "Mr Inconsiderate Selfish Pig" awards.

But just because something is popular, doesn't make it sensible.

Okay, I'm going to be bias on the whole breeding thing; ie in the way that I'm never going to do it. But how does a baby save a marriage? Any couple will tell you (and lets face it, "the baby" is all they can talk about, yawn); the stress on a couple goes up a million when they have a baby. You don't ever sleep again, and this isn't for a few weeks, this is for years. You're too exhausted for sex, you're always too worried and unless you're a celeb, you have no money. And this is just the start of it. You argue about everything from "the best way to raise a child" to "who gave Little Johnny those ears?"

So I ask again; how does being constantly exhausted, frequent arguments and being constantly worried and having no sex help an already troubled marriage? Consider this, Fuckwitt Celeb; you're married to Other Fuckwitt Celeb Who Can't Keep his Cock in his Trousers. Chances are, if he is a lazy, mean, sex-mad wanker who treats you like a doormatt; he's not going to suddenly wake up a day later as Dad of the Year.

Divorces post-baby sky-rocket. So what makes you think your already crap marriage is going to be suddenly lovey-duvey days away in the Land of Happy?

So if you even think it, I advise strongly to not even consider it. Unfortunately, the stupid seem to be able to breed easier.

Not only that, if your marriage isn't exactly a bed of roses, you'll be probably subjecting a lot of pressure on Little Johnny Marriage-Saver; and subjecting the poor brat to constant arguments and shouting; followed by a nasty divorce where the child is used as a weapon, and his constatly hoisted from one house to another, from one bitter parent to another. Great start in life for Poor Little Johnny Marriage-Saver, sorry Breaker.


  1. It's an awful lot of responsibility to put on those tiny shoulders, isn't it? I don't think I'd like to have been tasked with the job, before conception, of saving my parents' marriage.

  2. Thanks for you comment, Julie. It's not something any child should be under.

  3. so happy to see other people here with some common sense. looking around, it seems that having kids is a sure-fire way to destroy a marriage. but then, i don't have kids, so who am i to say? i'm only happily married sans les beh-behs.