Child-free men - well they just need a good talking to!

After making the conscious decision many years ago that I didn't want children, I think I've had all the questions, remarks and insults one can possible get for the past fifteen years or so. Or to those who have never heard the term: child-free or breeder bingo (see figure below).


But in all this, we have to remember men have to contend with breeder bingo too. Whether they 'get it' more or not, I don't know; but the child-free men out there certainly are on the receiving end of it on a regular basis; as my other half will testify.
Women and men also get patronised to by various "Mummy" or "Breeder" articles as I like to think of them. As this kindly web page tells us: http://okfreedate.com/m/articles/view/childfree

The article starts by flippantly labelling the child-free movement as, I quote: "a new fangled-trend", as if my being this way was a phase I was going through. It also explains how a woman can coerce - sorry - "find out the reasons for his sturdy resistance".

The article basically goes on to basically undermine, patronise and condescend both men and women.
It stereotypes women as something that, I quote, "Want to embrace a crying child" and "Have maternal instincts that unwittingly arise". Well I want a crying child to shut the fuck up and I've never had maternal feelings.
The article also stereo-types men as just insecure boys who are afraid of having children. The article then tells women how to address the issues and that men just need a good talking to.

Whilst insecurities and fear might be the case for some men, the article does not once acknowledge that many men don't actually want children. Not now, not ever. Not because they are "afraid", but because they actually just don't to have children. No, men are all conveniently put into one box and it does not once give a man any credit for thinking for himself and thinking for more than a second about whether ot not to breed.
The article doesn't, at any point ever explain how wrong it is for his partner to coerce him into it. Nor that it's not right for anyone - family, society, friends - to coerce him.

Sadly, there are many articles like this - as are some women - who don't acknowledge that not everyone wants to breed, that not everyone wants to produce another consumer of the world's vastly dwindling resources.

Whilst there are many caring fathers out there, who love being a dad and wanted to be a dad; I also suspect that there are millions of men out there who have caved in to pressure from their partners who have coerced them, or from family and society's expectations, who have had children - and now regret it, or at least if they had their time over again, would not make the same decision.

One other thing that irritated me about this ill-informed article, was that is said how wonderful parenthood was, and if it wasn't, "the childfree movement would have numbered millions of volunteers". Message to the author of the article: we do have millions.

My Letter to the Family of Troy Davis

To the Family of Troy Davis,

We have been following Troy's case for a number of years now; and although we never met him, we do feel we got to know him, even though he didn't know us personally.
The torture for Troy and yourselves over the years must have been horrendous at times, yet throughout the years that you have been fighting for justice, you have all been dignified and courageous.

Over the last week or so especially, our hearts have been in pieces. I cannot imagine how Troy and yourselves have been feeling.

Yesterday, our hearts were broken.

The only small shred of comfort we feel throughout this travesty of justice, is that we know Troy died knowing he was going to a better place. A place where he is free from hate and free from injustice.

I know you will miss him so much, and that you are heart-broken, but I also know you have faith that you will all be together again, someday.

Our thoughts are with you at this time.

God Bless You All.
We are Troy Davis.

love from
Jackie and David Crossley
Leeds, England.




If you wish to send a message of support to Troy's Family, you can do it here: http://bit.ly/nlq0PT via Amnesty International

Troy Davis: the lynchings have never gone away. But tonight, it's behind a legal face.

The lynchings have never stopped, it is alive and well in the state of Georgia, America.

I have always been against the death penalty; it is wrong all the time, every time. It is the worst form of pre-meditated murder. It is abhorrent for dozens of different reasons; too many to talk about. It's state sponsored revenge of the worst kind and is used disproportionately on people of colour and the poor. And has also been used on the innocent many times.
Troy Davis is one of them. Troy Davis is to be killed, for a crime he is highly likely not to have committed, at midnight tonight, UK time.

Troy Davis was convicted 20 years ago for killing a police man and was sentenced to death.

Of the nine witnesses; seven have now modified or retracted their testimony, three of those have said they were coerced by police to name Davis as the murderer. Four of the witnesses have admitted lying in court. The murder weapon was never found, and there was NO physical evidence; such as DNA, to link Davis to the murder. One of the jurors in the original case has even come forward and said that if he knew what he knew now, he would have found Troy innocent.
The case has nothing to rest on. Nothing. Under a civilised justice system, there is nothing to convict him, nevermind executing him.

I have followed Troy's case for a number of years now and I had a bad feeling this week that the pleas for clemency would be rejected. I was sadly proved right. I wish I wasn't. Troy, his family and thousands upon thousands of supporters world-wide have been campaigning for years. But Georgia just wants this nigger off their back. His family & supporters - as far as Georgia is concerned - will go away once they murder him.

How can any human being sleep at night when they have the power of life or death? That is what the parole board have. How can they say, "This person deserves to die"?......no sorry, it's more like "This innocent person deserves to be tortured for 20 years, than suffer the worst kind of pre-meditated murder."

Yes, it's torture. Being made to wait as your life hangs in the balance at the hands of fucking rednecks IS torture. Being made to wait whilst they decide whether to murder you or not, is torture.

How can President Obama sit and allow this to happen? He is the most powerful man in the world and has the power to stop this. He is a black man, he knows the injustices that happen to people of colour. But he sits by and does nothing. He has blood on his hands, just like the executioner does, like the Georgia parole board has. The same as the real murderer of the policeman has. They are no different, it just has the face of the law behind it.

I think this song and video sums this up. Billie Holiday: Stange Fruit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4ZyuULy9zs

Having a Baby to "Save Your Marriage".....oppps

Seems to be a popular thing amongst idiots: Having a baby to "save your marriage".

It certainly seems to be popular amongst the celebs of this world, namely the stupid ones. The ones who haven't been in the press for five minutes and who are generally famous for doing nothing else but being famous. Beyonce announced that she's having a baby "to save her marriage" and Cheryl Cole considered it. Both Jordon and Kerry Katona did it - so obviously if they both did it, it must work!...........oh yeah.
And why is it mostly the women who decide or agree to this when they are usually the ones married to the winner of "Mr Dumb Fuckwitt of the Year", "Mr Can't Keep His Cock in his Trousers" and "Mr Inconsiderate Selfish Pig" awards.

But just because something is popular, doesn't make it sensible.

Okay, I'm going to be bias on the whole breeding thing; ie in the way that I'm never going to do it. But how does a baby save a marriage? Any couple will tell you (and lets face it, "the baby" is all they can talk about, yawn); the stress on a couple goes up a million when they have a baby. You don't ever sleep again, and this isn't for a few weeks, this is for years. You're too exhausted for sex, you're always too worried and unless you're a celeb, you have no money. And this is just the start of it. You argue about everything from "the best way to raise a child" to "who gave Little Johnny those ears?"

So I ask again; how does being constantly exhausted, frequent arguments and being constantly worried and having no sex help an already troubled marriage? Consider this, Fuckwitt Celeb; you're married to Other Fuckwitt Celeb Who Can't Keep his Cock in his Trousers. Chances are, if he is a lazy, mean, sex-mad wanker who treats you like a doormatt; he's not going to suddenly wake up a day later as Dad of the Year.

Divorces post-baby sky-rocket. So what makes you think your already crap marriage is going to be suddenly lovey-duvey days away in the Land of Happy?

So if you even think it, I advise strongly to not even consider it. Unfortunately, the stupid seem to be able to breed easier.

Not only that, if your marriage isn't exactly a bed of roses, you'll be probably subjecting a lot of pressure on Little Johnny Marriage-Saver; and subjecting the poor brat to constant arguments and shouting; followed by a nasty divorce where the child is used as a weapon, and his constatly hoisted from one house to another, from one bitter parent to another. Great start in life for Poor Little Johnny Marriage-Saver, sorry Breaker.

Terrible Chain-FaceBook Statuses and Why I Hate Them

A friend on Facebook's status update from the other day. It's probably the most patronising comment I have ever read. This is copied and pasted, so I am not responsible for the poor grammar.

"Whatever you give a WOMAN she will make it GREATER. Giver her SPERM she will give you a BABY. Give her a HOUSE she will give you a HOME. Give her GROCERIES, she will give you a MEAL. Give her your LOVE and she will give you her HEART. She MULTIPLIES and ENLARGES what she is given. so if you GIVE her CRAP, be PREPARED to RECEIVE a ton of SHIT! I hope to see every girl on my friends list repost this (only the brave will)!"

I find this update tedious at best; at worst, they are condescending, patronising and stereo-typing. Being a gob-shite, I didn't let this one lie. I stated what I said above, plus, I replied;

"Pass the sick bucket. I find the whole thing patronising to both women and men, and terribly stereo-typing...........plus, I don't want any f**king sperm as I don't want children!"

It was sad and awful how many women 'liked' her status. Needless to say, I have no reply from her regards my post, but plenty of responses from grateful men that we all don't think like that!

Baby Wash and a letter to Hotpoint

Dear Hotpoint,

I recently purchased a new washing machine, which was delivered and fitted yesterday. I noticed upon examining the front of the washing machine, there was a setting labelled "Baby Wash". Being child-free, I felt disappointed that I would not be able to utilise this setting and thus not be using said washing machine to it's full potential.

Nevertheless, undeterred, I did actually find a baby. Said child was quite willingly offered to me for the evening from exhausted parents who wished some 'time-out'. Being the kind soul that I am, I thought I would wash said baby before putting him to bed; doing the parents a favour as well as being able to test the new setting on the washing machine.

However, before putting said baby into washing machine, the parents arrived back early. They were incredibly alarmed at what I was proposing, and rather urgently, explained to me that the "baby setting" was not, in fact, for cleaning babies. Despite my claims that the baby did not exceed the 6kg maximum load, they went on to explain the terrible consequences of what may have happened if I had proceeded to enter the baby into a a spin cycle.
Shocked and ashamed, I read through your instruction manual, but could find no warning, nor indeed any reference to the dangers of putting a less-than 6kg baby on a "baby wash" setting. Nor did it state, "Babies must not be placed in washing machine on 'baby wash' cycle".

I write to you in concern that other persons may not be so lucky as I, and upon washing a less than 6kg baby on 'baby wash', may inadvertently end up with a washing machine that, due to a slight misunderstanding, invalidate their guarantee.

May I suggest some sort of large warning be placed in the instruction manual and maybe relabelling the title 'baby wash' or some sort of warning triangle to alert the user to potential hazards.

Yours faithfully

Childfree and smiling at squirrels.

I was in Golden Acre Park during the week. In the last few months, I have been getting back into photography, and was taking some pictures of various wild life. It was lovely and peaceful and the birds were singing and there were about four or five grey squirrels scurrying about, enjoying the spring.
The peace was interrupted by a child screaming at the top of it's voice. I turned around to see a woman, with three children who were all creating in some different way. I recognised her as she came over for a chat, joined by her friend who also had three creating kids with her. We had a chat for a short while whilst one brat kept wandering off (despite going missing five minutes earlier), another continued to scream, whilst the other four competed with each other trying to vie for attention, whilst their mothers had the audacity to not be paying them attention 100% of the time, by constantly pulling on their Mum's arms and shouting "Mum, mum, mum!" (to which when I was a kid would have resulted in a stern word not to interrupt whilst adults were talking).

After only a couple of minutes, I could feel my tension rise, and my brain was hurting from the screaming. Mum's & children and myself then departed in opposite directions.
They went walking off trying to control six children between them, and I went off to regain some composure and peace.

As the screaming got quieter as the distance got further, I was alone with my thoughts as I smiled at the lovely colour and scent of the flowers and the playing squirrels. I had been confronted by my idea of hell. Now I have to be careful how I put this without sounding smug or without sounding like I'm looking down my nose at people, after all, if you want children, it's your life. But it reaffirmed with a bang how I could never live like that and how this would be a nightmare life for me. I have never wanted children, and luckily, neither does my husband, but imagine if I had somehow been pressurised into having children. I would face my hell, 24/7. A life where I couldn't just walk away from the screaming child. A life which didn't revolve around dependent beings.
A life where I couldn't drop everything and spend a day to myself, smelling the flowers, appreciating colour and smiling at squirrels.