People Who I Want To Punch (part 1)

I think it's fair to warn you that this blog contains very strong language.


I think you can guess from the title what this blog will be about. Yes, it's about people who I want to punch, or in other words; people who I think are cunts. Now this blog is supposed to be funny and light-hearted, and it's not intended to be taken seriously before I get badgered by the stupid, humourless police. I wish no harm on these people (much), except they have offended me, or annoyed me, or are a talentless waste of good air, or who have generally pissed me off in some way. Often there is no reason at all.
This list is by no means exclusive; if you feel that people should be added, please feel free to reply with the names of the people who you want to punch; or your personal cunt list. You, of course, have the right to disagree. The list is not in any particular cuntish order.
I need to also add that this list does not contain any serious cunts. By this I mean your proper cunts; ie The Royal Family, The Pope, Most Politicians, The Tory Party, Dictators, Americans etc

Jim Davidson:
Now this man has always been a cunt. Not only is the man a racist, misogynistic, homophobic cunt; he's also been allegedly convicted for drink-driving. His jokes are racist, and he's been on the television expressing nasty comments about women and gay people. He's also a tax exile, so he's a robbing cunt as well. Plus, he's not funny. His "act" isn't funny. He is also a member of the Tory Party, and in the past has even spoken at their conferences; tells you a lot. If you look up the word "cunt" in the dictionary, there is a picture of Jim Davidson.

Jeremy Kyle:
Smug, self-righteous cunt.

Chantelle-Whats-Her-Name and Alex Reid
For a start, they sound thicker than a whale omelette when they speak; the combination of their IQ's wouldn't get near triple figures. They've been together five minutes and unfortunately, they are also the classic example that stupid people can breed easily, when they quite clearly shouldn't ever breed. They are both famous for being famous, when in fact, I want to punch them both in their cunt faces. He looks and sounds like he's had a fight with a waste compacter and lost. She just looks and sounds like a vacuous plastic bint. Cunts.

Shane Richie
Can't act, can't sing. Womaniser cunt. Annoying and crap. Cunt.

Michael McIntyre
He's not funny. His stupid shaking-head.

My Ex-Mate John (not his real name)
Obviously, you don't know him. Just take my word for it when I say he's a cunt. Within a few minutes of meeting him, you'd want to punch him in his face too. He's loaded and has a massive house, but that's not the reason he's a cunt. He's the meanest, tight-arsed git I have ever met. I have never seen him buy anyone a drink in the pub, and the pints I have bought him when I've been broke have never been bought back. He never returned our deposit on the house we were renting off him, because he's a cunt. He was throwing out an old cooker, and when a mate of his said she'd have it, he wanted money for it, despite saying he was going to throw it out anyway. Luckily, the mate told him to fuck off. He wears jumpers to go out that I would wear to paint the house; full of holes and stained. He used to drive the oldest shittiest smallest car, despite being over 6ft tall. He only bought a new one because the old one fell apart, and he bought himself an old knackered Chinquchento. Although driving it around, he looks hilarious in it with his knees under his chin. When his girlfriend mentioned marriage, he said, and I quote, "I'll marry you if you want, I suppose." The old romantic.
Although the one saving grace is that he got fired from his job for downloading hard core porn onto his work's PC. Hilarious.

The Cast of TOWIE. But mainly Amy Childs
I had to look her up as I didn't know her name. She's a treat, isn't she? All tits, lips and fake tan. The best is when she opens her mouth in that she makes Chantelle whats-her-name sound like Professor Brian Cox. She doesn't have a clue.

Matthew Wright, presenter of The Wright Stuff
See Jeremy Kyle

Jonathon Ross
Creepy. Smug. Not funny. Crap hair. Paid too much. Cunt.

Other people who I want to punch, but for no reason except they annoy me
Davina McCall
Jim Carrey
Martine McCutchen


Feel free to comment, remembering we're all doing this for a laugh.

Part 2, hopefully coming soon!